Friends.

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Saturday, October 13, 2007

OH BOOO BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! shit. i should have NEVER come on the computer. never never never never never never never never. NEVER. and now i'm reminded of bad memories. this sucks totally. OH GOSH i'm so vulgar. was never like that in pri school. i get vulgar when i'm angry or pissed. and this practically sucks. OH NO. again............................

shit shit shit. stop getting all depressed again shi yan. STOP. STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh no. it's all coming back nononononononno. it shan't. lets talk about something else. OH. i've read twilight until page 244 already. AHA! and it's starting to get really sweet. oh man, i'm not TOTALLY in love with Edward Cullen but hohoho. i'm not totally not in love with him. he seems so super real like he really REALLY exists. hah! when he was all so sweet to Bella, wow i was like smiling and there were actually also butterflies in my stomach. FLUTTERING. LOOOL this is so LOOOOOOOOL. but gah indulging myself in the book makes me forget about all my worries, like they don't even exist anymore. i guess really, our real competitors should be ourselves and how i damn super wished that i hadn't really done well in my life to have such high expectations of myself now. but GAH. 一山还比一山高。i can't always be doing well and better than those who scored worse than me before. YUH. DUH. how can that be possible. but it'll be great disappointment when that actually happens. you see. EXPECTATIONS. does this word actually HAVE to exist? how inhumane is it for those third lang pple to do so super well in their studies despite the work load they have? GAH but they chiong so super hard. nvm i shall take things slowly so i won't burn out by sec four. yea, if we all work too hard NOW, by sec four, we'll definitely burn out. so yes i shall enjoy studying, enjoy MY studying process. studying shouldn't be a burden so i shan't be so affected by STUPID marks. yes.yes. but i guess the real disappointment sets in when you don't do well after you've slogged so hard. YAh. but whatever. WHATEVER. --> shut up will you shiyan? SHUT UP. stop your brain from thinking. COMPETE WITH YOURSELF. period.

Together. 6:22 PM

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