NOW it's sinking in. i'd been numb probably the entire day. THE ENTIRE DAY. and now it's finally sinking in. i feel shittily crappy now. down right lousy about this WHOLE THING. i screwed my chinese, at least i think so. well i can't say i got very very bad cos there are definitely pple who got lower BUT, GAH. it's such a disappointment. i feel shitty. shitty. NO I"M NOT SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT MARKS. but i realise now i can't really do it. nope, i can't. at least not NOW. in 2 days time probably. no, by then i'll be devastated by my other subjects. OH GOSH. i feel shitty shitty shitty shitty. sorry. i know i'm not supposed to be so vulgar. but i CAN"T HELP IT. SAVE ME PPLE! SAVE ME! slap me awake. just kick me awake someone. i hate going to school now, cos we'll have to receive ALL our shitty exam papers. i hate staying at home now, cos i'll give my brain time to wonder around into the world deemed as 'emo'. i want to keep myself busy. so i'll forget everything. like how at the swing just now, me leting huihan alicia xintong heng yeng and jaslyn were so super gay, so happy, so free. yes, then i'll forget the total crap i'm in. yes, i need distraction. i can't have too much time for myself. NOPE, i can't. yes and i can't stand pple who before the exam keep praising pple about how good they are at the subject. and in the end, they SCORE WAY HIGHER. yes, and the people who they praised to the sky would feel so crappy. especially when they don't do well. i can't stand it SERIOUSLY. i mean. GAH. sorry if i've done that before, but i don't want to be like that anymore. or i don't want to be like this at all. it feels crappish. SUPER. yes. i've decided to write yi lun wen for next year's exam. cos all of them score 60+. WOW. at what about me? SHAN"T SAY. gahgahgah those who worked hard SERIOUSLY OUGHT to get higher than those who don't. i didn't work that hard for chinese this time. yes so i probably deserved this. but for pple who doesn't even touch chinese until the day before, yea, i should not say anything but just say that they're born with the gift in that language.

Language, it's a hard thing to perfect overnight, definitely. so during this dec school holidays, i promise or HOPE to promise that i'll read a lot. a lot a lot. i hope to carry this out. i'll speak more chinese, i'll look at more chinese. yes, now i feel a WHOLE LOT BETTER! (: so to pple out there who are feeling crap like me, just set yourself a goal, a goal that will pull you to think that you won't be that bad after all when you start trying to improve now :D yay! i feel a WHOLE LOT BETTER!

As for tomorrow's returning of math and science, good luck to me, that's all i can say.


JIAYOU SHIYAN! JIA YOU JIAYOU JIAYOU! you can do it! you can you can! life ain't just about marks, RIGHT?







yea, i hope so (=

Together. 5:56 PM

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