I'm troubled.
I hate being troubled.
Why am i troubled?
What do i do when i'm troubled?
I talk.
But who?
Don't know.
Someone encouraging i guess.
As the saying always goes " a happy person radiates happiness to the people around them" ( Just like Jacob Black to Bella in New Moon. Haven't reached the part when i'm 'supposed' to resent him. he seems nice now, at least filling up the deep hole created by Edward)
Now?
What do i do when i'm troubled?
I call someone.
And talk.
Yea.
I get comfort through encouragement.
Or maybe i just binge.
No.
Binging only comes when i'm depressed.
Now i'm troubled.
That's different.
Anw i'm not even supposed to be troubled.
It's such a small thing to make someone troubled.
But i get troubled easily.
Yuh.
Especially when it comes down to this kind if situation.
LOL.
I'm weird.
Haven't blogged or even touch the computer in ages AGES. Why? Choral and Drama Night. i've been reaching home at 7, 7.30, or 8pm for the past few days. i'm so tired. but i can't complain. Siqi's even more tired lah but i can't understand why everything has to be so perfect. haha, guess it just isn't me. I feel so guilty that Jesslene and Siqi are redoing the stuff together at Siqi's house. HAIYO. they would be redoing it, which = to : Most of our effort would be gone to waste yesterday. i mean yes, it didn't turn out too well but it isn't half as bad as i see it. Guess i'm just not a pefectionist (Well, i can be at times (= ). But i feel bad not doing anything. while they're doing something. But Bishan's too far away and Siqi said that i needn't come. Lol probably because i may be more of a nuisance than any help. not as artistic as them you see (: But i guess i tried my best lah hor. i spent every single time i have free ( very little) thinking about how to do the things properly. and i did try my best but maybe what i see as nice may not be what they see it as. And i am under tremendous stress by the teacher. She is always so negative. everything positive she says, she has to give a negative statement. yea, and knowing me, i like to stress over the statements she says. i keep worrying that after all the effort that we put in, they wouldn't even accept our prop. well if she doesn't or any other teachers don't, i think we'll all just break down and cry.
Yesterday i came to school at 8.11am (left at 6.20pm) and brought stuff to the class. ( yes we stole the key home) i had cca from 9 to 11.15 and when i went back up Josephine Jesslene Siqi Jingyi we already there. hope i didn't miss out anyone =X the rest came soon after. not all lah, but at least most turned up (: UH HUH. and guess the worst thing to happen. we were supposed to finish up the house by yesterday but we got chased out of the class. by who? Uncle Jack. i mean he's doing his job lah, but GAH. this is what i'm troubled about. i'm scared that he tells Dai lao shi and then she'll tell miss foo. then we''ll get scolded or probably given demerit points. See? it's illegal to bring the key home. and we're not supposed to be in the class on Sat. BUT DO YOU THINK WE HAD A CHOICE? our props are 2m x 1.8m do you think it's so easy to do it somewhere else? but i'm really worried that he'll be a tattletale. GOSH and then we're dead. we'll get poor Wang Qing into trouble when it isn't even her fault :( AND WORST OF ALL. I HELD ON TO THE KEY cos i'll be able to reach school earliest(sheena came earlier though). josephine stole it on thursday cos we had to do up the house also and we reached school at like what? 6.30. see the amount of effort we are putting in? IT"S CRAZY. and i think we're crazy. it's not like we are planning in the class of ways to tear down the school. and obviously we weren't stealing anything. IT"S OUR CLASS -.-" and steal what? we had no choice at all okay. and we weren't even doing something NOT related to school stuff. We were doing PROPS for CHORAL AND DRAMA NIGHT. i don't even think anyone else in the level is putting in as much effort as us. and me and siqi have been worrying ourselves like crazy over these few days. we don't even eat the whole day and we get home so super late. and last last night i called her to discuss about what we needed for yesterday. yes i sent over two hundred messages altogether to remind index 1-15 about what they had to bring the next day. MAN. i think i overshot the 500 free. anyway that's not the point, i don't mind that, it's just that the teacher said that if the house doesn't turn out too well, if it doesn't stand well, if it doesn't LOOK nice, she would not take it. and our effort? i spent thursday night sleepless and poor siqi spent last last night sleepless. poor siqi lah i think she is under A LOT A LOT more stress than me. main character! haiyo. all her lines and everything. really pity her :( siqi! you can't fall sick!
bottom line: i'm worried about the illegal stealing of key home. i know this is unnecessary but i think it's just me to be scared of getting scolded. i'm just always super super scared of getting scolded by teachers. i dunno why. HAIX. we are putting in so much effort and if we will still be berated for our effort cos we stole the key, i have NOTHING to say. we shouldn't have done that i know. but WHAT TO DO. we didn't have any choice! 我们是逼不得已才这么做的！
Whatever. i shall talk to someone soon. i can't keep to myself. don't like to. i have to talk when i'm troubled/depressed/sad. yea. this time cos i'm troubled. i'm not being emo. just how a normal person would feel when he/she faces with something he/she is scared of. yea. that's about it. jiayou(:
Together. 9:38 AM
