SHORT ONE.
MY BRAIN"S DYING
MY HEALTH"S FAILING ME
THE EOYS ARE APPROACHING

GEOG
HISTORY
MATH
LA
CHEM
BIO
PHYSICS
CHINESE

I WONDER WHY YOU ARE DOING THIS TO MY SMALL BRAIN
LET ME GO
I BEG YOU
LET ALL OF US GO

COME BACK TO ME WHEN I NEED YOU
FOR I"LL DIE WHEN YOU ARE LOST




look i just came up with a poem about eoys. short and nice.
woah i'm going mad already
told myself not to touch my blog
still touched it.
but i can't take it.
i'm on my last chap of history but my brain is bursting.
i don't think i can remember ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING i've studied
i have probably just wasted all my precious time

HOME LEARNING WEEK. gosh. practically giving us 3 days of hell
i admire the third lang monkey and humans.
admirable species.
how can their brain take it?
but i've been wishing them good luck every morning
jiayou to everyone!
we can't give up just YET.
then we'll be able to enjoy like don't know how crap after this
BUT WAIT
we have to self study the math chapeter mensuration.
GAH. won't they just let us off??
:D D:

What if i stare at the questions and my mind just goes blank
my LA. save me. i don't know how to improve.
writer's technique
impressions
feelings.
i don't feel anything
how to annotate?

LA essays, history essays, i've got to buy ten ballpoint pens.
and this is my eoy feelings for the first year in nanyang.
YAY(:

Together. 2:19 PM

i HOPE that this is my last time bloggging until the home learning days are over. I HOPE. nah i don't think i'll be able to achieve that. Josephine was just 'talking' to me about competitiveness. argh. everyone is competitive. i can't deny that i am too. but it's the truth that without competitiveness, the world can't progress. i'm competitive. and i hate it. but i can't help it. it's horrible. but competitiveness sometimes also comes from wanting to prove others wrong. and wanting to prove one's true ability. sometimes it's good. but if it is ENHANCED, it isn't good. it's bad bad bad. (like the greenhouse effect which leads to global warming.) <-- i'm studying too hard. LOL! let me list the reasons why i actually am competitive and study:

- it's a duty as a child isn't it?
- live for myself XDD
- not to lose out

hey i'm frank okay (: it's good to study. and i believe in studying. i don't mind pressure, and i wonder why pple around me keep complaining about it. since it's my decision to get into the school, i'll try my might to prove that i've made an extremely right decision. didn't all of you choose this school anyway? and pressure is everywhere. even in other schools. go ask your other friends, they'd tell you that they are stressed too. :P seriously, i think we all need to accept where, what and how we are in. we shall all try to be like that (: trying. no one's perfect.

OKAY. so it's mugging time. nono. study time. follow jesslene. if she says she isn't mugging but studying, how can i be mugging? hehee (: study study. and i like studying in school when no one talks to me and leave me alone in the class. then i can be really focus and not talk for like an hour plus STRAIGHT. did that today. amazing speed i tell you. i better go now then :D byebye/

studying smart:

Focus
Relax
Enjoy

yes i must LOVE what i'm studying. i love math LA chinese geog history and all three sciences. yes i LOVE. bye blog i wish to abandon you. :)

Together. 8:40 PM

Here's wishing Jesslene a happy happy happy happy happy 13th Birthday! :) HAPPY!

YAY(: i hope she's happy. i hope she's very happy. i hope she'd be happy and cheerful forever and ever. i hope she'd be extremely happy. i hope she'd be over the moon... MOONCAKES!
i love snow skin mooncakes. Snow QUEEN. Snow SKIN. sounds alike. no wonder i love them both. hehehee. made snow skin mooncakes over today for home econs! yay(: made it with the birthday girl. she gave me all the nice ones.. so nice and kind :( haiyo i wanted to give her as a birthday gift on TOP of what i had given her but she insisted. (: THANK YOU! <333333

Forgetting about unpleasant things. yep. "Either to forgive, or to forget." NAH, both. i choose both, forgive AND forget. yep.

Nope. i don't understand. and i don't think i'dever understand. i recognise i'm lucky. i recognise i'm very fortunate. sorry to have hurt you in anyway anw, i'll try to be more sensitive. Prove them wrong, prove all of us right. okay? yay! =) we would always and FOREVER be behind you. forever and ever, what are friends for anyway? :D

i feel brain dead.
i have a dead brain
i'm a brainy dead person


Exhausted,
Lethargic,
WHY?
cos i am drinking from a mug.

Reading cartwheel was ok. i spoke four to five times. hope i said relevant things. was so nervous kept stuttering and spoke some alien english, all grammatically wrong. can't help it. my heart was thumping so hard i could bearly breathe. pity Yumin, both time when she's about to speak, miss foo would change the question! so sad. :'( Nvm yumin, you tried you very very best i could tell. jiayou. :)

People who keep me alive, by sometimes helping me to bring my dead brain back to life again:

-My FPS group ( Sally pauline yanni huihan)
-Leting Jesslene Mari (: Josephine Xintong


AHA. now it's seven! would use the com almost everyday from 6.30 to 7. nothing more! :D

Together. 6:44 PM

It had been a weird weird day. Turning point in my life. (:

You would know why it has been weird cos...

I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE PLAYING PACMAN. man, sorry to FPS group and rie :(

wonder how i'll get pass tomorrow.
tonight.
with this weird feeling.


hoho. i think i've officially gone crazy, it's time to watch the seven o'clock show. yay! (:

i know i'm slacking. but i can't help it. somehow, i just ain't that time conscious. OH BOY. MUGMUGMUG! drink from the MUG not CUP. cups are shallower.

The ocean's too deep for me (: lol. randomness. oh no!

Together. 6:54 PM

wow. haven't touched my com or blogged for the whole weekend. argh. i rather be in school. and have lessons. WHY?! cos all we can do at home is mug mug mug! yep, that's it. horrible aye. went to huihan's blog. read her post before all the quizzes. wow, i was amazed. awestruck. dumbfounded. at the maturity and depth of her post. another deep thinker; go read pple. you would feel entirely different. it talked about what she would do if she finds out she will die tomorrow or contract some terminal disease. she wants to make a difference. she wants to make a difference in other's life. man. i was touched. it makes so much sense.and it obviously showed that it came from a sensible deep thinker. yes, and i, lee shi yan, have decided, i want to make a difference too. She mentioned that she ain't being emo, but she thought that she shouldn't be emo like all the pple around her because of marks, she realised that life ain't so much about results and only results. nope, i shan't be emo. i shall try never to care so much about my marks anymore. i have been influenced by her. I WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. i wouldn't want to live my life without any meaning, any meaning at all. i want to help pple too.

When i was younger, i used to dream to become a doctor to help those pple who are terminally ill in Africa. but being a doctor is scary. i don't know. i don't like to see blood. and i guess i'll be very affected if i witness death and i can't do anything about it. well, guess if anyone wants to become a doctor in future, he or she would have to overcome all these. yes. life isn't only about marks. it's about making an impact. i haven't really thought about what i would do if i had contracted an incurable disease. would i wallow in self pity? or would i be like Terry Fox who ran a marathon across countries to raise funds for the cancer patients when he himself had just found out that he had contracted polio? would anyone have such resilience and willpower? it's amazing how these pple manage to be so selfless. yes, so i've decided to live life more meaningfully, to learn to enjoy and work smart at the same time. yes, make a difference (:

and this is not being emo pple, there are certain things that are worth thinking about :D

Together. 6:30 PM

Blogging is good, it allows you to let out all your feelings, and then POOF! you forget everything soon after. :D (that's if you blog in proper english) (:

Nah sally it ain't as bad as you think it is. (: kinda. sorta. whatever (:

HAHAHAH WE PLAYED PACMAN IN CLASS TODAY AGAIN!!!! WOO HOO!! it was damn fun and funny! i love pacman. me sally huihan rie pauline and heng yeng played! ahahah it was SUPER fun. AGAIN. we played with others on wed too. that was even funner. ahahhahahahaha anw hohohooh i love pacman, after playing pacman i have the mood to mug. don't know why, gets me all hyped up. OHOHOHOHO. it's fun. FUN! but huihan hurt her skinny little bony finger and heng yeng hurt her knee. AIYO, so poor thing lah! so painful... you all alright hor? :) i shall keep playinh pacman then chase her chase there, then i can have the mood to study. HAS IT"S ADVANTAGES OKAY! :)

Got back the unseen today. As i don't have high expectations of my crappy english, i think i did ok. at least i scored the same as sally. someone who is good at english :D there's CCA CIP tomorrow for like how many hours! 1.45 to 6 excluding travelling time. WAH. my whole day cannot mug already... then at night must go hwachong see the lantern festival that my sis and fellow school mates put up. and at night there's SNOW QUEEN!! <333 and that's the end of my pathetic day. Do you think it's sad when someone's long term goal is to beat you in your studies? i'm so hurt. :'( especially when the person tell you so and says she's happy cos she scored higher. HAIZ. but nvm. at least i'm doing a good deed. and i suppose it's a good thing? but... ARGH, nvm.

GOT TO MAKE UP FOR TIME LOST TOMORROW! but... no mood! i shall play pacman with myself. ahahah no lah, jk i'm insane already. HOHOHO. tata!

In the modern day times, where competition is your life...

Together. 6:36 PM

Can i ask, for one thing, is it THAT hard to lower one's expectations of him or herself?
and another thing, must everything we do be counted and recorded like we'll never be let off?

i'm not sure if i have a life. study tests exams failures. guess i have to get used to it. but it isn't easy, no it isn't. i suck at lang arts for one thing. that four letter word only comes when i mean it seriously. i hardly use it. can you believe it? i speak english at home but my chinese is actually better than english. OMG lah. and like wth must NSW be counted? FOR GOD SAKE, if they count for other subjects then good. but FOR LANG ARTS... can they just shut up. and stop treating us like prisoners?!

i have realised from 'experience' that the person who screams and freaks out the most when it's time to get back results is the one who does better, compared to those who just keep quiet and remain calm. they have to make a BIG DEAL, and when the result comes out, they have nothing to say. they don't even know WHAT to say when you tell them you scored ten times worse. wth. maybe i should just freak out like how i did last year. and it adds salt to the wounds. horrible it hurts badly. it's sore.

and yes then sally is a horrible person i tell you. everytime i want to eat lunch or recess i'll tell or ask her. then when she does she just runs off. wahh i want to eat with someone else also tell her lah. so sad. :'( nvm she's not obliged to anw. she doesn't have that responsibility.

It's a horrid day, and i had to get back lousy geog marks as well. i mean me and xintong expected it but in out hearts we just wished that this miracle would happen. but it didn't. should i just go get tuition or something? pple get tuition for the subj that they are lousy in. maybe i should. going to learning lab last year pulled me up A LOT. but it costs a bomb for good tuition.

my sister is good at lang arts and i'm horrid at it. freaking irritating and miss foo must teach me after teaching her last year. must be real disappointing aye? not a replica, not at all.

well, but we won the lantern making thing. it was amazing really. we were chioning like hell. sheena is funny i've never seen her so enthu before lah! we were frantically trying to scotchtape everything hoho! AND WE WON! WE WON! WE WON WON WON! woots. hohoho. cool and that person had to mistake me for dunno what and was repeating my name to the WHOLE LEVEL for dunno what reason. it was freakin embarrassing.

i'm horrid at it.
will that change?
will everything change?
would a miracle happen like what happened for my chinese? miracles are hard to come. it isn't so easy to improve on languages you know. i rather be strong in languages like sally. this is horrid. stupid. irrritating. crappy.

TERRIBLE.

i'll get out of my depression tomorrow. dun wry. at least i get over it now.

I SHALL TRY MY BEST AND DO SUPER WELL FOR THE EOYs! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! (:

Together. 6:47 PM

YAY! i'm high. cos the piano exam is over over and OVER!! WOOOHOOO!

hahahahha just had a tagging competition with xintong. and she won. damn it. i type until so xin ku. nvm hehehehehe. why am i wasting precious time? ok i shall go now! (:

I LOVE SNOW QUEEN, I CAN"T STAND IT ANYMORE. and yes i love her snobbish and da4 xiao3 jie3 ways! she's cool huh. uh huh.

and ican't believe miss foo used to top her school! st nicholas was a really good school last time. no offence i don't mean it isn't today. but it was much better last time (:

snow queen is love (:

Together. 4:17 PM

Yes now i really wonder why the hell do i blog, why the hell am i blogging at this point of time?

But yes, it's good sometimes to keep me from thinking about stuff that isn't at all healthy for me.

Let's pray i won't slip so much tomorrow
Let's pray i can hear what is major and minor tomorrow
Let's pray i'll be able to play the piece i have most confidence in well tomorrow
Let's pray that i'll be able to remember my scales tomorrow while the examiner stares
Let's pray that the sight reading would not have more than two sharps or flats tomorrow
Let's pray that my palms wouldn't get all clammy tomorrow
Let's pray that all will turn out fine tomorrow

Prayers don't work if you don't put in your best too. so i shall gambate, GAMBATE, GAMBATE!!!! wait i don't learn jap. is that right? fellow jap learners?

I always tend to make a big deal out of really minor things. When i'm depressed, i tell the whole damn world so most pple find me irritating. When i'm sad, i show it right smack on my face. When i'm nervous or scared i tell the whole damn world why. Please, pple, just tell me to shut up sometimes and not be such an attention seeker. but i just don't like keeping everything that disturbs me badly all to myself, it's oppressive, it's unbearable. unless it's top secret. but i would tell someone really close to me in the end. but please don't get the wrong idea, i don't go around telling everybody about a secret that you(if u did) told me. i hope. i think so XD nah anyway. why am i wasting precious time for studying? i'm such an idiot. MUg MUG MUGG.

Buy me a mug for my birthday. don't shudder.

So, i can do it yea. yes i can. face that ang moh examiner. nah how scary can it get, the more worried i am, the worse i do.

A belief?
Or is it an illusion?

AHHAHA. --> that's for me to choose.

i must have a strong mind XDDD yay. jiayou to everybody <3333

Together. 8:46 PM

Awww... Don't be sad.. :'(

Should i consider locking my blog? or just deleting it? everyone is locking and my tagboard is dead. so to give myself some comfort maybe i should just lock it. haiz i dunno >.< IT"S THE END OF THE WONDERFUL MUGGER SEPT HOLIDAYS! i'm not sure to be happy or to be sad. i don't know, but i'm weird, cos i actually miss school (: aha! i'm a weirdo. i feel at home in school. weird aye? but haiya.

Someone please stress me. jesslene keeps stressing me by the way she stresses herself. i'm stressed. but i'm not sure if i'm doing anything about it. OH NO. at this rate, i'm not going to do well for the EOYs. SHIT. the whole world's mugging. i feel so ill prepared. oh no i really better bury my head in my books. but i think i can only REALLY concentrate after my piano exam is over this tues. now my mind is just filled with what will happen? what if...

But yea, i am trying to tell myself that i've been through even scarier things: the PSL interview, the PSLE EXAM. all these are way more impt than this. i mean (in a way). so yea, and i managed to get through, so why can't I this time? anyway, i've also taken this piano exam thing for like what 4 times. but i guess it's becos i don't have my sister taking the exam with me this time. but anyway, I HAVE TO GROW UP (: and be more independent. my fingers are very tired from playing the piano, some how i feel that the more i practise the worse the piece sounds. the more the slips. BUT ANW i have to go now (: i wonder sometimes who i'm really talking to when i post. but anw thanks to my blog supporters <3333

namely.

Xintong a.k.a PIG and blogboyfriend
Sally
Leting

OH man, is my tagboard THAT pathetic? or did i leave out some pple? i wish i did. ok bye (:

Welcome to term four, when the mugging and chionging for the EOYs all starts...

Together. 9:05 PM

I am doing.. THE LAME QUIZ!

the person who tagged you with this quiz?
SALLY. :P

your relationship with him/her is?
Friends. MAYBE... I said MAYBE... LOVERS.

5 impressions or him/her?
LOL. that. ok!

1) Nice at TIMES
2)Genius in math
3)relatively lame
4)A responsible person
5)Should i say smart? yea, smart

the most memorable thing he/she has done for you?
Pass me the nutrition notes during one of the sept holidays. :DD

the most memorable words he/she had said to you?
that. i must stop to think. LET'S SEE...

"It's alright, i'll always be your friend." is it? i dunno leh. maybe it's just a wishful thinking on my part. and please. we are not what lovers k. u can say i was sad at that time (:

if he/she becomes your lover, you will?
Regret each day of a lesbian

if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be?
Her naggy personality. OH WAIT i know. speaking chinese. i can't speak chinese. that's a fact. if she wants to be my lover, she has to give in to ME speaking english. YAY. (:

if he/she becomes your enemy, you will?
be sad (:
but i dun think we will ever be enemies, you know why? cos we are practially word enemies every single day.

if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be?
she speaks chinese to me the whole day and boasts about her wonderful ability to speak chinese when i can't, LOL! ahaha.

the most desirable thing you want to do for her/him now is?
lend her my notes, like how she lent me hers :D

your overall impression of her is?
Good friend to have.
sick
great FPS grp member (:

how you think people around you will feel about you?
lame.

the character you love of yourself are?
enthusiasm :DDD

on the contrary, the character you hate of yourself are?
being so quiet and hibernating, like i have never spoken a word in my life, at home.

the most ideal person you want to be is?
LEE KUAN YEW, he's my idol, can't deny that. :D
just that obviously i don't want to lead a country. hohohoho.

...

can i add a question?

what is your fav. show now?
SNOW QUEEN <3333 definitely.

i have answered all my questions--

Together. 6:52 PM

NO!!! someone needs to comfort dear shiyan here :'( i'm so nervous for my piano exam and no one comforted me even after i told them :( so sad....u see, if i seriously freak out, i won't even be able to find my middle C, and then everything will go haywire. one of my pieces require a lot of jumping here and there and if i miss the notes, it would sound horrible. NO!!!! how? die die and i'll have to miss school lah. so crappy huh. someone comfort me... :'(

it's the day today. but i won't exactly be able to enjoy that much until this piano exam is OVER. crap.

:'(

Together. 3:17 PM

OH NO!!! someone please stress me to study. i swear i can't bring myself to study so hard anymore. now i know what it means by studying too hard in sec one and burning out in sec 4. nope, this can't happen. so i shall still slack a bit so i won't stop mugging by sec 4. haiz :(

i can't wait to get my cca jacket. it's nice but really expensive u see (:

i know what to call myself: " SHI YAN THE SLACKER" see alliteration. ahahahahaha. Marilyn isn't doing her braces today so sad! then i can't see her when i go for my rewiring today :( my rewiring is going to take like what 1h. and i bet i'll have to wait for 2-3h first. shit it huh. they are slow and they love to bully small little girls like me. damn.

SNOW QUEEN 雪之女王 <3333 i'm having mee sua for lunch however u spell it. see? that's how bored i am, posting what i'm having for lunch. heh =X must MUG. later i'll waste tons of time at the dentist!

SNOW QUEEN 雪之女王 <3333 my only inspiration.

Together. 9:22 AM

hello (: i've uploaded a nice song from snow queen. i've been a real slacker that is, haiz

i'm so scared lah, it's the piano exam next tuesday! when i'm nervous i dun think i can even find my middle C. crap right. now i regret not practising for the past few months.

I hAVE NO LIFE AT ALL. i am stuck at home. i can't get out cos everybody in my hse is having exams. i mean i know i'm supposed to study too but haiz... ANW, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM! i made a card last night till like 12.30 am but it didn't turn out well. sad. we had pizza for lunch (: and one of my mum's colleagues sent a birthday cake. so sweet!! it's such a nice chocolate cake. many many many layers of chocolate... ahh~... i've been very lethargic nowadays, spending most of my time just sleeping. once i touch my bed, i can't get up. i've been slacking really, and i know i'm supposed to study for the EOYs AND practise piano. i've never felt so scared of piano exams. i dunno why, maybe it's cause this time my sister isn't taking it with me. haiz. i'm scared. nervous. afraid. lost. yep, words to describe me. i don't want to fail this exam. cos it really costs a lot to learn piano. u see, i just passed my grade two, failed grade three, passed with ok marks grade four, just just passed really border line grade five. yea see that's how lousy i am at it :( but i don't have much interest in piano, only when i get to play other pieces besides EXAM PIECES. so xian. i shall stop slacking then. but i can't. haiz. ok anyway byebye (:

Together. 6:58 PM

I HAVE EFFECTIVELY SLACKED FOR THE WHOLE DAY.

Together. 6:31 PM

BOOKS ARE OUT TO KILL. i think it's a total joke to say that our brain capacity can hold a whole library of books. WHAT A JOKE. i need someone like sally to stress me to continue studying cos i have totally no push to study right now. oh boy this is sickening. anyone read the papers? it says that bukit batok is currently the dengue hotspot. and i currently live in bukit batok. and lets see... i have six mosquito bites all over my body. oh no. pls dun attact me. i fed you. though i seriously can't reciprocate ur love for me. haha

see nothing interesting has been happening. ANYTHING??? tag me pple :) or else this pathetic blog of mine would risk the chance of survival. aha! snow queen. i'm currently in love with it. along with leting and sally. i think leting is mad. she can really go korean man crazy. ahahhaa but he IS handsome, can't blame her :P

ok i'm going to take a break now. maybe should go and sleep. then practise 2h of piano or something. ahahaha bless me and my piano in case i cause noise pollution later. must study geog to know the measures taken to counter noise pollution. ahaha i'm mad. i'm actually looking forward to the math lesson tomorrow so i won't be so lonely like i am at home. at least i hope. anyway. BYEBYE <3333

Together. 1:53 PM

oh dear, my blog's seriously dead again. and i don't feel like posting. nothing much has been happening. :( let's see i can't bring myself to be happy cos it's the holidays all because of the upcoming piano exam nex tues! OMG. i'm so going to DIE. i'm still so lousy at the pieces and scales and SIGHT READING and ZOMG stupid aural singing and what period thing! oh no! oh no! oh no! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm scared. i'm afraid. but luckily i booked the piano exam studio so i sorta know how it'd be like on that day. i've seriously never booked the studio before. but OH NO. i'm dead. i better go practise real hard this week. for hours and hours. but i'll practically just keep banging the piano and make such a noise that my father would claim it isn't even music. that's true, i don't blame him. i admit that i'm never REALLY bad at somethings, except IT and PIANO. yep, i'm really bad at it. so pple, never ask me to play a piano piece for you, you'd practically dig a hole and hide you head in it. i'm serious. i'm sorta tone death or something, have no fate with the piano or music. number one, i don't listen to music and i admit it (: number two, i hate practising the piano. number three, i don't really have any interest in piano when every week, you just keep playing the same old exam pieces. how nice would it be if there aren't piano exams? then i'd be able to play nice nice pieces like richard (something how to spell?) and like nice korean movie songs. argh, i wish i can just learn piano without a grade. how nice can that get?

ok, so the holidays really help me to catch up with my EOY revision. no cca, SUPER FREE. yea, no cca, super free. but i kinda miss it. my body feels like it's a rubber band that hasn't been pulled for a long time. OH!! now i know what to blog about!

LAST NIGHT. i went to bed at 11. yea ok so by 11.20 i heard this idiot mosquito buzzing in my ear. GROSS. it bit me on the face. then i went to try and sleep. after ten min i heard it AGAIN. got up, realise it had bitten me on the face again. ok so i thought it won't anymore after putting mopiko BUT. i came again 15 min later. buzzing. and i it had bitten on MY FACE again. aha then i got really angry. but what could i do? i went back to sleep. oh and the nice mosquito BUZZED AGAIN. right so i decided i can't sleep in my room. i was scared to get the mattress from my bro's room upstairs so i took out a sleeping bag and went to my sis' room. lol! i lay some bath towels in it so it wouldn't be too thin. then i slept on hald of my blanket and covered i other half over me. softer at least. well, at least i learnt survivors instinct. i think i slept quite well and didn't get woken up until my sis had to leave for school at 6 plus. poor me. i got woken up. so i asked if i could sleep on her bed. yea finally SOFT bed. ahaaa fell asleep soon enough and woke up at 8.15 by GUESS WHAT?!?! ANOTHER MOSQUITO BUZZING IN MY EAR. and this time, i had no where to bite so it bit me on my palm. WTH WTH WTH i was cursing and swearing. why do i have to be so acquainted with MOSQUITOES? that was one of my worse encounters by mosquitoes. and last night i only fell asleep at one. damn it. i'm super tired today. damn the mosquito. kind and gracious me saw it many times but didn't kill it. not good to kill animals it must be hungry. BUT it didn't have to fill it's stomach with my delicious A+ blood. ok so i'm going to eat now. and watch tv. then put mopiko.

i did a good deed. i fed the mosquito.

Together. 10:38 AM

HAIZ! the comments for my online progress report is SO CRAPPY. so sad lah :'( miss foo's one was quite disappointing but it obviously told the truth. Mdm lee's one was quite encouraging, zhong lao shi's one was nice (: history's one is crappy too. ARGH! so sad. :'( Ms chang's one was very nice XD but ah, so sad. my mum sure nag at me later. haven't shown her yet. you can't blame me for speaking up less in class this term cos there was basically NOTHING for me to express my views on lah. haiyo. i wish i could speak up more too but i really have nothing to say anymore. i'm sad :'( got almost all 2s for "speaking up in class". but guess i deserved it. i think i'll score very badly this term for participation in class. very badly i think. but i really cannot think of anything to say. oh dear. this is so scary. my mum's going to nag at me like hell later. noooo. D:

i think i'm having very drastic mood swings nowadays. i get very frustrated when my brother comes into my room and doesn't close the door after he leaves. it's damn... then i get so irritated that i start screaming and cursing him. and once i'm studying i can't make myself talk to another person. once he or she talks to me i'll get very irrtated too. it's so horrible but i can't control myself! sorry to my sis and bro and parents then. i've been this really moody sibling and daughter. i try to be less moody but i can't help it really. there isn't much for me to be very happy about and i can't seem to bring myself to be high at home like how i'm high in school. if i'm actually high, my parents would be very happy cos most of the time, i'm expressionless at home. so i think i'll probably die not going to school. sounds weird huh? but i really think so.

the progress report has spoilt my mood.
totally.
forever.
and ever.

Together. 12:40 PM

CLOCK! ;